Stranger Anxiety: Not a Strange Phase
One behavior that makes my job as a pediatrician tough at times is when an older infant or toddler is just not happy to see me.
The reactions when I approach him can run the gamut from a worried look to shrieks of sheer terror and a valiant attempt to hide from me.
This is stranger anxiety in all its perplexing glory.
A very young infant may know who immediate family members are, but she does not really care if anyone else wants to hold her.
As the infant gets older, sometimes as early as four months of age, she starts to become wary of close contact with anyone but her frequent caregivers.
The average age this occurs is eight months.
Signs of stranger anxiety when a child is approached can include becoming quiet, looking fearfully or scowling at the stranger, crying loudly, becoming fussy, or trying to hide under the arms (or behind) a caregiver.
Generally, the reactions get more intense as the child gets older.
Stranger anxiety lasts an average of eighteen months. Sometimes it manifests in a child who is 2 years old – even when confronted with peers whom he does not know.
Certain things can be done to help manage stranger anxiety. Tell people whom the child sees infrequently, especially grandparents who live far away, that the child has stranger anxiety.
Hopefully, that will help “strangers” feel not so badly when the child reacts in a fearful way.
Strangers should approach the child slowly and use a calm voice.
They should let the child warm up to them by allowing the child to stay in a caregiver’s arms for a little while before attempting to take and hold the child themselves.
They can hand the child a soft toy such as a stuffed animal.
Taking a child to a place where she can safely interact with others, such as a park, can help decrease some of the more extreme reactions.
The child should not be belittled for having stranger anxiety.
Although stranger anxiety can be annoying to deal with for both caregivers and strangers, it is a normal developmental milestone.
It shows that the child trusts the caregiver and assumes that the caregiver is concerned with what the child thinks and how he feels.
The behaviors of crying and hiding also act as a built-in anti-theft device for the infant or toddler.