MOM: It's All About You!
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Argue In Front of the Kids?
By Lesley Iwinski, MD
Like a pop-up thunderstorm on a summer afternoon, a pleasant conversation between you and your spouse erupts into an argument.
And the storm involves not only mom and dad -- it rains on your children, sitting there in awkward silence.
Should you fight in front of the children? How do you prevent these volatile exchanges from happening? Is that even possible?
Seasoned grandparents and trained professionals can disagree about this. So how do we handle these inevitable arguments?
Between the obvious extremes of physical violence and complete silence, a balance lies in the middle.
Here are some tips to help you find a balance or comfort zone that is right for you:
DON'T
>
React from a state of high emotion.
> Belittle your spouse, call names, blame or shame him or her.
> Coerce children to take sides or talk about the issue with them behind your spouse’s back.
> Engage in arguments that you believe will hurt you or will be harmful for children to witness.
> Insist on solving the problem “right then and there.” Wait.
DO
> Take time and space to calm yourself. This is the most important first step to increase the likelihood of a favorable outcome.
> Create a signal with your spouse to save your discussion for
another time when you have privacy.
> Show respect for your spouse.
> Learn how to resolve conflicts peacefully. Read “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall Rosenberg. Take a class or workshop. See a life coach or counselor. Even if your spouse won’t participate, you will benefit.
> Practice win-win negotiating. This is an invaluable skill to model for your children in which two sides work together to find a solution that makes both sides happy. It is different from compromising, where you give up half of what you want to get half of what you didn’t want.
> Keep trying. Learn from mistakes (they happen!) and move forward.
Lesley Iwinski, M.D., is a mother of three, has the Kentucky Early Childhood Trainer’s Credential, and is a Certified Parent Educator through the International Network for Children and Families. Contact her at Growing Peaceful Families, at www.growingpeacefulfamilies.com or (859) 333-7300.
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Fit Mommy
By Kim Summers
Had a baby and ready to get back in shape? Once you are cleared by your physician (usually 6 to 8 weeks postpartum depending on your delivery) developing a regular exercise routine is one of the best things you can do for you and your baby.
Taking part in an effective, well-rounded fitness routine will improve core strength, reduce weight, increase energy, improve posture and combat the “baby blues.”
Postpartum women have special fitness considerations, particularly abdominal separation, the major culprit of the “mommy pooch.”
One way to address these considerations and ensure the effectiveness of your fitness routine is by participating in an exercise program designed specifically for moms, such as Baby Boot Camp.
With Baby Boot Camp,
Improve and Maintain...
> Cardiovascular endurance
> Muscular strength and endurance
> Core strength
> Pelvic floor stability and strength
> Safe body mechanics and physical strength for handling a growing infant
These goals are achieved by combining the following elements to create an effective workout:
> Cardio drills
> Resistance tubing and body weight exercises
> Yoga and Pilates movements
> Abdominal reconditioning techniques
> SUPPORT of other moms and instructors
Trainer Tip: Choosing the right exercises and having good technique far outweighs quantity or time. Take the time to learn how to do each exercise correctly to ensure results and prevent injury.
Kim Summers completed her M.S in Kinesiology at UK. As a new mom, she stays active in the fitness industry working as the owner/operator of Baby Boot Camp in Lexington and as an ACE-certified Personal Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor.
www.babybootcamp.com
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Girls Night Out!
Mad Potter
3385 Tates Creek Road
in the Lansdowne Shops
269-4591 www.themadpotter.biz
Free Diva Nights
Tuesdays, 6 p.m.-9 p.m.
Grab a few girlfriends and enjoy a little “me” time. There’s a drawing each night for a free piece of pottery. Plus snack on popcorn and chocolate. What’s not to love?
Live Music Nights
Fridays, 8 p.m.-10 p.m.
Enjoy the sounds of a local musician playing keyboards while you paint.
The Melting Pot
152 West Tiverton Way
254-6358 w www.meltingpot.com
Girls Night Out
Get a group together and head to the Melting Pot for a discounted dinner with the girls! Depending on the current menu, the Melting Pot offers a special price on a featured meal. It’s new every time.
Dance Alley
3450 Richmond Road Suite 200
264-1117 www.dancealleyky.com
Pole Dancing Classes
Ninety-minute classes start with a pilates based warmup that works on strengthening arms, legs and core. Then you’re off to the poles for the real fun. “A lot of women come in who are friends and they have a great time,” says owner Karen King. “They crack jokes and laugh at each other. It’s all done in a light and fun way.” Not to worry ladies – classes are for women only and are limited to eight dancers. Oh, it’s also a great workout. (Drop-in rate for one class is $20. Check web site for schedule).
Tates Creek Christian Church
3150 Tates Creek Road
266-1621 www.tatescreek.org
Girls Night Out
Come to this free Girls Night Out session where women enjoy fellowship while making crafts to take home with them. The next Girls Night Out is Thursday, Sept. 24, from 6:30 p.m.-9 p.m. All are welcome. Deadline to register is Monday Sept. 21.