Straight Shooter
Sally Stevens Urges Parents to Embrace
Role of Wisdom Figures for Teens
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By John Lynch

The turning point for Principal Sally Stevens of Lexington Catholic High came when she attended the funeral of one of her students.

An educator for 39 years -- 13 as principal at Lexington Catholic -- Stevens has experienced all the highs and lows in education.

Obviously, the death of a student when alcohol is involved is the lowest.

“I tell my students, ‘I cannot lose you. That’s one thing we cannot bear. We can bear your mistakes, but not that,’” she says.

That’s why when it comes to alcohol and drug use, Stevens shoots straight from the lip.

“I’ll meet with parents anytime, anywhere,” she says.

The message she delivers could not be clearer -- parents need to be re-empowered.

Stevens, who has raised two children and is now a grandmother, urges parents to embrace a simple concept -- adults know more than teens.

That’s a difficult sell when media bombard us with the message that parents are dummies.

Instead of the reassuring shows of the 1950s and ‘60s such as “Father Knows Best,” Stevens says, TV features shows such as “The Simpsons” and “Two and a Half Men.”

“‘Two and Half Men’ is a funny, funny show,” Stevens said. “But those adults are not wise. Do I want a 16-year-old watching that? No.”

In many ways, parents have relinquished their role as what Stevens calls “wisdom figures.”

“That’s something we need to take back,” she says.

Parents can start by reminding their teens that underage drinking is illegal. In addition, alcohol can damage a teen’s still developing brain.

“We know so much more now than we did before about alcohol,” Stevens says. “We know that a teen’s brain isn’t finished. Because of that we need to help them avoid bad choices.”

That’s why Lexington Catholic owns a breathalyzer it uses at school functions and has a random drug testing policy.

“The majority of kids don’t want to get drunk, but some don’t know how not to,” she says.

“With our policies, they can blame their school. If they need me to be their bad guy, their meanie, that’s OK.”

With Stevens -- a big-hearted woman with a warm touch -- there’s a velvet glove on that iron fist.

“I believe that high school students are inherently good. They want to make choices that please us,” she says.

Parents just have to show them how. Here are her suggestions.

l Form a network of parents.
One parent can feel helpless. For parents, there is strength in numbers.

l Pick up the phone.
If your teens say they’re visiting a friend, call the parents. Do they know about the visit? Will they be there?

l Underage drinking is illegal.
“The line for all adults should be illegality,” Stevens says. “Every adult has to follow that.”

l Create a ritual.
“You can’t have a 14-year-old walking in and out of the house on their own. When your son or daughter comes home at night, have them give you a hug where you can look at their face.

“Our teens need us as much now as when they were 2. Then it was physical development.

“For teens, it’s about their emotional and moral development.”

If you’re looking for a role model, Sally Stevens is a good place to start.