Babies Shouldn’t Drive Away Non-Parent Friends

By Katie Saltz

Before my first child was born, I read many articles about how my baby was going to drive a wedge between me and my non-parent friends.

   As the first in my social group to have children, I worriedly anticipated this huge shift in my relationships.

Magazines convinced me that my friends would hate my endless baby chatter, and our schedules would never line up.

I was told that my baby would create strain because friends simply wouldn’t care about my potty-training woes and resent that I was too tired to stay out past 7 p.m.

Finding “Mom Friends” was supposed to be my new mission – women who would inherently understand the demands of motherhood.

I’ve made mom friends and I appreciate the camaraderie, but I still think that my non-parent friends are equally, if not more, important.

They are my lifeline to the outside world.

They know all the good restaurants for date nights and can tell me their reviews for movies I likely won’t get to see until 2025.

They remind me that I had hobbies and interests before my children, and encourage me to keep those parts of myself alive.

Many moms fear they talk about their kids too much.

We worry we are over-sharing with tales of diaper blow-outs, or that our friends are sick of seeing all the baby photos.

But I could easily think that my childless friend is talking too much about her boyfriend, her new job or her recent vacation. But that isn’t what friends do.

I’ve been lucky that my friends didn’t view my children as “wedges.”

Our dinner dates now start at 5  p.m. instead of 8, and a dirty diaper or two tends to sneak into the conversation. But my friends easily allowed for these changes.

One day my friends might all have kids, and I hope they won’t be afraid to talk too much about their babies with me.

Instead of wedges, I’ll view those kids as glue to bond us all tighter together.


Watch ABC36 News at Noon on the first Monday of every month to see Katie review her favorite products for mom and baby.