My Kids Are Fighting! Handling Sibling Battles

By Lesley Iwinski

Have you heard or said these things lately:
“Mooooooooom! She took my shirt and now I can’t find it!”
“Mommy! He pushed me over and took my bike!”
“What is going on in there? Are you all at it again?!”
And the famous, “Don’t make me come down there!”

Kids fighting is nothing new, but as the summer grows long, you may notice there is even more than usual.

What’s going on and what can you do about it?

Kids fight for many reasons. Here are the usual ones paired with some suggestions of what you can do.
Reasons Children Fight
To get their way
Solutions
Teach children how to win-win negotiate. Do this by helping each child be clear about what they want. They take turns talking and listening, and then think of ways to solve the problem that are mutually satisfying.

Reasons Children Fight
To get a parent’s attention
Solutions
Make a point to spend time with each child every day, even if it is just for a few minutes. Make a heart connection by listening or asking them to teach you something.

Reasons Children Fight
Because they are bored or want some excitement
Solutions
Pretend to be a sports commentator. Hold an imaginary microphone and describe the action. Make sure you are using humor and not putting anyone down.

Reasons Children Fight
To release tension
Solutions
Join in a game of tag, be a wild animal and chase them, share a good-natured tickle or a pillow fight. Race. Swim. Turn on music and dance like crazy.

Reasons Children Fight
Want their sibling to pay attention to them
Solutions
Teach siblings how to ask for attention from their sibling appropriately and how to respect each other’s personal space and time.

In addition, you can take time to teach children to ask for what they want instead of fighting.

Be sure to be positive. Also, problem-solve when everyone is getting along.

Staying active, sharing quality time and learning win-win negotiation skills will limit fights and lead to an enjoyable summer.