Help! I’ve Got A Threenager!’

Everyone knows about the “Terrible Two’s.” When your child’s tantrums (supposedly) hit their peak and defiance is rampant.

We made it through year two with our daughter, but we now have the dreaded “Threenager.”

We had to wake CeCe up for school one morning and were met with her yanking the covers over her head and yelling at us that she “JUST WANTS TO KEEP SLEEPING!”

Instead of her running to us for morning hugs, she slams the door. When you ask her to sit down and eat or pick up those toys she responds with, “FINE! UGH!”

I am taking bets on how soon before she tells me I’m embarrassing her in front of her friends.

The Terrible Two Tantrums were nothing compared to this. My toddler may have been screaming but at least she wasn’t rolling her eyes at me.

It’s easy to relate to some of her meltdowns. When trying to get her dressed for school one day, she ended up sprawled on the floor, whimpering, “I just want to wear pajamas all day.”

Me too, baby girl. I can’t fault her for that.

The biggest conundrum with a Threenager is, despite their similar attitude to a surly teen, the same punishments don’t apply.

You can’t take away the cell phone because she doesn’t have one (unless you count the plastic Fisher-Price version with an “Elmo’s World” ringtone.)

Grounding the Threenager doesn’t work either. Because they can’t go anywhere without you, you’re just grounding yourself.

CeCe has yet to fight me about her curfew (7:30 p.m.), her right to privacy (we still supervise bath time), or her boyfriend (she says she is going to marry her daddy.)

So the battle isn’t completely lost just yet.

I’m holding out hope that Year Four will bring a small break in the emotional roller coaster.

I just pray for one little year of relief before the drama of kindergarten, the agony of grade school, and then the inevitable transformation of my sweet baby into a full-blown, no-going-back Teenager.