Welcome to the Poo-Pocalypse

I knew potty training would present some challenges and hurdles along the way. But I never imagined the grossness my 2-year-old would put me through.

It was a normal weekday. As I laid CeCe down for a nap, nothing seemed amiss. All was quiet. Until all the way from the living room, my husband started sniffing.

“Do you smell poop?”

We gently cracked open CeCe’s bedroom door, expecting to see a sleeping angel who maybe did a No. 2 in her sleep.

What we found was a Poo-Pocalypse.

It looked like a violent murder had taken place. But instead of blood splatters, it was poop. Everywhere.

She had completely disrobed, taken the contents of her diaper and used it as finger paint.

The walls. The door. Her stuffed animals. Covered.

We stood stunned, unable to even process what was happening. CeCe just stared at us, naked and covered in poop, looking like some tribal native with her war paint on.

Finally I sprung into action, and as I scrubbed the walls, my head spun with all the scenarios I had been told to expect as a parent. Nights without sleep, catching vomit in your hands, tantrums in a busy grocery store.

No one mentioned toddlers flinging poop like monkeys at the zoo.

We mentioned this incident to CeCe’s pediatrician, who recommended discipline but assured us that this behavior is not uncommon.

I wanted to cry with relief knowing that for every two parents who are severely judging me for this, one more is with me in spirit.

Ultimately, it boils down to curiosity. We can’t assume that a toddler instinctively knows something is gross.

CeCe also has expressed curiosity by rubbing glue sticks on her hands and licking the refrigerator door.

Those are very weird things to do. But in her brain, these were learning opportunities.

I’ll write the poo incident off as an educational experience- but one that is NEVER to be repeated.