Cartoons are ruining my life. We have screen limits in our house, but I’ve hit my personal limit with many of the shows my toddler obsesses over.
It’s not enough to just watch Dora. We have Dora stickers, Dora coloring books, eat Dora fruit snacks. CeCe and I sing the songs together in the car, and I’ve found myself singing them when I am by myself.
While I can’t bring myself to cut off TV completely, I can at least share what I would want to tell these characters if I ever met them in person.
Sesame Street: Dear Mr. Noodle – you need to get your life together. I understand you are mute, but a grown man should be able to wash his hands and build a tower of blocks without so many problems.
Caillou: I understand this show is set in Canada. But must every episode include a snowstorm and maple syrup?
Dora: I wish all criminals could be as easily deterred as Swiper. All you have to say is “Swiper No Swiping!” and the cartoon fox wearing a Zorro mask simply gives up.
Translate that to real life: Just shout “Robber No Robbing!” and the large man heisting your flat screen would just gingerly set it down and declare, “Shucks!”
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey appears to be the mayor or founder of this town because all the buildings and walking paths resemble the shape of his head. I assume he has some authority.
But no matter how many times Pete screws him over, he just lets it go. Mickey, lay down the law and use Toodles to build a Clubhouse jail cell for that cat.
My non-parent friends wonder why I don’t take away TV time. I laugh at their naiveté.
Although I may want to kick Big Bird in the shins sometimes, he is the only thing standing between my daughter and a full-fledged meltdown come 4 p.m. each day.
Watch Baby Bump Editor Katie Saltz on ABC36 News@Noon on the first Thursday of each month. She shares her favorite products and resources for parents and babies, and always has giveaway prizes for viewers!