Learn to Speak Your Child’s Love Language

One of the richest loves in the world – that of parent for child – doesn’t get as much press this time of year as romantic love.  
Still, those who are parents know that for them it is Valentine’s Day every day of the year.
Children need love every day to grow and thrive.

Gary Chapman has written a series of books on “The 5 Love Languages,” which points out that each of us gives and receives love differently.

When our love languages are the same, life is grand.

When there is a mismatch, however, the result can be a classic communication breakdown.

In a few short words, I’d like to help you learn to speak the love language that your child hears best.

The five love languages are Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.

Children usually show their love the same way that speaks to them, so it’s important to watch them closely and notice their love language.

Do they like to do good deeds? Give you little gifts of rocks and dandelions? Rub or scratch your back?  Tell you how awesome you are?  Or do they just love being with you?

If you’re scratching Julie’s back because that is something that makes YOU feel loved and she wiggles away, think about that.

Does she bring you little treasures, or leave little boxes by your seat? Perhaps her love language is gifts.

Try giving a little gift (not from a store) and see how she responds. If her face lights up, you will know.

When my son was 7 years old, he made a little mailbox and put it outside my bedroom door with a little note inside.

I wrote a note back that said, “You make my heart sing.”

I heard him open the box, pull out the note and then heard, “Awwwww. That’s so nice,” followed by, “You’re supposed to put a present in here, too!”

I should have known.  He has always loved giving gifts.

Today, see if you can learn the love language of your children and other loved ones.

Talk about how these languages are similar and different, and how each of us can speak that language of love more often.