“Trying to Control My Potty Mouth”

My 18-month-old is like a little macaw. She tends to repeat the last word of whatever I say.

Which is par for the course with a toddler learning to talk.

“Let’s put on your shoe.”
“Want me to pick you up?”

This is usually adorable –until mommy’s potty-mouth kicks in.

I haven’t heard my precious baby utter any four-letter zingers yet, but I know it’s long past time to G-rate our language.

I don’t have an extremely dirty mouth. It’s not like I listen to uncensored rap albums in the car with my baby.

I don’t think my reality show would involve too many bleeps.

But I am like any human. I often want to tell that person who just cut me off on Nicholasville Road during rush hour to go to. . . a very warm place reserved for bad people.

The other day I started to release my anger on a driver who almost hit me in a parking lot.

With CeCe in the backseat I ended up shouting “You son-of-a. . . silly-billy! Go HUG your-self!”

Even if I cut out the occasional obscenity, I realized I am still saying things like “stupid,” “dumb,” and “idiot” often, even if I am just describing whatever celebrity is on E! News at the moment.

I would chastise my child for calling someone stupid or an idiot, so these words need to go as well. People will now be referred to as:

  • Do-do birds
  • Goof heads
  • Silly gooses
  • Crazy pants
  • “Maybe she is smart in other ways.”

I know that I might slip up in front of my kid one day.

I just hope I can catch myself, apologize and explain why we shouldn’t say that word (whether it be “stupid” or start with the same sound as “Shooooo.”)

Follow Katie on her mommy blog at mynewheartbeat.com.